Requirements: .ePUB Reader, 1.3 MB
Overview: From the author of The Plight Before Christmas and The Ravenhood trilogy comes a heartwarming, spicy, holiday-themed romantic dramedy with ALL OF THE FEELS.
Genre: Romance
1. The Plight Before Christmas: Clark Griswold was onto something, at least with his annual holiday meltdown. And since the last three weeks of my life have been riddled with humbug—another breakup, a broken toe, an office promotion I deserved and didn’t get—I’m not at all in the mood to celebrate nor have the happ, happ, happiest Christmas EVER.
When Mom insisted that we all gather at my Grandparent’s ancient cabin for an old school family Christmas, I fully intended to get into the holiday spirit with the help of the three wise men, Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam. But those boys did absolutely nothing to offset the shock or temper the sting of seeing my EX on our doorstep the first day of our holiday soiree.
Apparently, Santa missed the memo, and this elf is pissed.
Stuck for a week with the man who obliterated my heart nearly two decades ago, I did the only thing I could do and put on my game face, thankful for the home advantage.
I knew better than to drink that last cup of eggnog.
I knew better than to get tongue tangled beneath the mistletoe with the only man to ever break my heart.
I knew better than to sleep with Satan’s wingman on the eve of the Lord’s birthday.
I could blame the nog. I could blame the deceitful light blue eyes, thick, angelic hair, and panty evaporating smirk…but mostly, I blame Eli because he always knew exactly which of my buttons to push.
I foolishly thought a family Christmas filled with nostalgia was going to turn my inner Scrooge around, but this year’s festivities went up in flames. Leave it to the ghost of my Christmas past to be the one to light the match.
Fa la la la la, la FML.
2. The Sleight Before Christmas (December 2024): My kids are a**holes.
Yeah, I said it. I said the thing no father is supposed to say about their children, and I’ll say it again because I miss my wife.
Serena’s checked out and now resides in ‘yes dear’ robot mode, complete with a new eye twitch. Reason being, the impish elves we spawned are currently sucking the life out of her—daily. Thanks to Gracie and Peyton, my patience is hanging by the last orange bulb on a very thin green wire. Thank God we’re headed to Triple Falls. A week of Ruby’s eggnog and a little change of scenery could be just what the woman I love needs to find her way back to herself—and to me. But the closer we get to packing up, the shorter my fuse becomes . . . and the more I’m starting to get ideas of taking drastic measures.
And by drastic, I mean our little goblins won’t be the only ones making Rudolph’s naughty list. I’ve had enough. I’m not giving in this time. No amount of alligator tears or fake apologies are going to cut it.
Ironically, the more I man up and take charge, the more Serena and I are starting to reminisce about the good old days, which is quickly adding up to some heated nights.
Come hell or high water, this Christmas, our kids are going to learn to appreciate the parents they’ve got because I’m getting my girl back . . . even if the two little hellions we created have to pay to bring her back to me—little f*ckers.
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