Everybody Loves Large Chests, Books 1-7 by Neven Iliev
Requirements: .M4A/.M4B reader, 1.8gb
Overview: Everybody Loves Large Chests was first brought to Jeff Hays on Soundbooth Theater Live, his live streaming narration show. Since then, it has been the most consistently requested and enjoyed title by fans. So much so, that Neven Iliev finally decided to approach us to put out a full audio version of the first arc in Boxxy’s adventures!
Genre: Audiobooks > Fiction
Book 1 Morningwood
Large chests are said to encompass all manner of hopes and dreams. Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true – everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones.
The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer – a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather’s trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime! It is sure to be a long and dangerous road, fraught with danger! And it all starts with a simple test – reach Level Five in the dungeon called the “newbie zone” and earn the right to become a full-fledged adventurer!
However, such things get hopelessly derailed when his adolescent mind beholds an exposed chest for the first time – a fateful meeting that would inevitably lead his life in a direction he never even dreamed of!
Content warning: Gore, violence, explicit sexual scenes
Book 2 Fizzlesprocket
Things are not well within the Lodrak Empire. An entire city goes up in smoke and ash, and an entire province is slowly being consumed by an ever-expanding cloud of death.
But while the humans rally to contain the fallout of this disaster, they are much quicker to pin the blame for it on their elven neighbors to the north. With centuries’ worth of strife and bad blood between the two nations flaring up, all out war is rapidly becoming an inevitability.
Powerful figures are already on the move. Some wish to unravel the mystery behind the dead city in order to bring the perpetrators to justice. Others are more than content enough to use this “act of terrorism” as an excuse to further the Empire’s agenda. A select few are even planning on somehow turning this cataclysm into a weapon for the sake of their ambitions. The elves of the Ishigar Republic are hard at work undermining and sabotaging their old enemy, while the international community watches the ongoing situation with a critical eye. Even the Gods themselves are closely monitoring the situation, ready to intervene should they deem it necessary.
However, though all these entities have different reasons and methods, they all have the same objective – to find the mastermind responsible for setting all this in motion.
The same “mastermind” that is far too busy figuring out how wagons work to notice the world is stirring.
Book 3 Vortena
What happens when one takes a murderous psychopath and forces them to team up with a cowardly tinkerer? Though not a question Jeremiah ever expected to ponder, he is nevertheless looking forward to seeing what the aforementioned duo will cook up. Success or failure does not matter to Richard, only that the journey be entertaining.
Things are far less jovial for the one under Tom’s “care”, however. Stuck in the monster-infested wilderness, lacking the usual backup, hunted by the Empire’s top brass, and tasked with an incredibly vague and obtuse Quest, Boxxy will face a world of uncertainty and adversity. However, this is nothing new. Pain, suffering, and loss are things that have been commonplace since day one, and Boxxy is not only entirely undaunted, but also eager to share those valuable lessons with its new “companion”. With things both shiny and tasty on the line, the crafty killer has every intention of showing that lich who’s boss.
Book 4 Morgana
The citizens of Azurvale are starting to feel the pressure. War with the Empire to the south is imminent, and there’s talk of the city’s adventurers being drafted into the campaign. Though this conflict seems inevitable and promises to be horrific, the common folk can do little but act like there’s nothing wrong. Rather than lose sleep over something so wildly out of their control, they instead worry about tiny, personal, inconsequential issues. Things like, “Will the butcher have fresh steak today?” and, “Should I get those new boots now, or wait and see if they go on sale?”
However, though they try to maintain some modicum of normalcy, the people of Azurvale have yet to find out that their capital is already under threat. Not by some warmongering nation, but by a certain individual that has come to them seeking asylum, knowledge, profit, and power through any means necessary. As this newcomer burrows into the city’s underbelly like a voracious tick, it cares not for the people it hurts along the way. Indeed, any soul unfortunate enough to cross paths with Boxxy T. Morningwood seems doomed to have their life ruined in one way or another. Often through no fault of their own.
Whether it’s an ancient being, a skilled assassin, a godlike archer, or a fresh-faced recruit, none shall be spared from the whims of chaos.
Book 5 Teresa
The war is in full swing. Following the unprecedented outcome of the siege at Fort Yimin, both the Republic and the Empire are forced to drastically reevaluate their plans for the conflict. With matters on the western front more or less settled for the moment, the warring nations turn their attention toward the eastern theatre. Winter looms on the horizon, threatening to deadlock the region and put a temporary halt to hostilities. With both sides planning to deploy bold and unconventional strategies on top of committing vast resources, it’s anyone’s guess which of them will come out on top.
Indeed, neither government is shying away from resorting to underhanded, questionable, or downright amoral means. The Gilded Hand has been stepping up their efforts to further Spymaster Edward Allen’s schemes. The Empire’s intelligence agency is also looking to field its most powerful enforcers in the coming battles. The Republic’s Foreign Intelligence Bureau is having a hard time keeping up, but they are not without their own dirty tricks. Rumors within the royal palace of the Horkensaft Kingdom to the east suggest that the dwarves and gnomes are on the verge of aiding the elven nation. Something that wouldn’t have been made possible without the Republic’s deep coffers, and the less-than-reputable individuals that fill them.
Boxxy T. Morningwood isn’t one of those shady contributors. If anything, it’s been steadily draining the government’s resources as it forces them to pay exorbitant fees to resolve issues that the monster itself creates. A trend it plans to keep following for as long as it can lie, cheat, and murder its way through life.
Which, barring something ridiculous like divine intervention, is poised to be a very long time indeed.
Book 6 Mortimer
Armageddon Day. That is how history will remember the date when two Overlords clashed amidst the war-torn streets of New Whitehall. The disastrous duel its explosive conclusion wreaked heavy casualties on the two armies present, rendering both the Ishigar Republic and the Lodrak Empire unable to continue to fight. And yet, it was no stalemate. With one Hero defeated and another revealed, the balance of power is sure to shift in the elvish nation’s favor. The Republic’s leaders will surely not hesitate to seize this opportunity, as they had already paid for it in blood and gold. Meanwhile the Lodrak Empire is gripped by unease overnight as their Goddess mysteriously falls silent.
Boxxy doesn’t care about any of that at the moment. Mostly because the confrontation with Teresa has left it in a comatose state at a most inopportune time. With the Hero status of its public persona revealed, it will be forced to rapidly adapt and escalate its plans. Whereas before it only had to worry about keeping its true identity a secret, it will now have to worry about its alter ego being targeted. Each chosen of the divines is a controversial figure, and the suddenly revealed Hero of Chaos will surely attract a lot of attention.
And, as the shapeshifter’s primal instincts are well aware, too much attention can and will lead to a surprise meeting with Death itself.
Book 7 Goroth
At a glance, the dwarves and gnomes of the Horkensaft Kingdom are two peoples who are worlds apart. The former are seen as hardcore traditionalists hell-bent on maintaining the status quo, while the latter only look ever forward and upward as they grasp at the future with both hands….
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