Callahan’s series by Spider Robinson (Books 1-10)
Requirements: Epub reader, 5.2 Mb
Overview: Spider Robinson was born in the Bronx, NY, in 1948, the year Robert A. Heinlein married Virginia Gerstenfeld—and in 2006 he became the only author ever to collaborate with Mr. Heinlein on a novel, VARIABLE STAR. Since 1973 he has published over thirty-five books, and won three Hugos, a Nebula, the John W. Campbell Award, and numerous other international honours.
He moved to Canada in 1974, and became a Canadian citizen in 2004. His Callahan’s Place stories inspired the creation of the long running Usenet newsgroup alt.callahans and other cybernetworks. From 1995-2004 he published an op-ed column (“The Crazy Years,” later called “Future Tense”) in Canada’s national newspaper, The Globe and Mail. In 2006 he became the first Writer In Residence at Vancouver’s H.R. MacMillan Space Centre, and in 2010 he was named sixth Writer In Residence at the Vancouver Public Library. He has written songs with David Crosby and Todd Butler, and recorded original music with Amos Garrett and Michael Creber. His award-winning podcast Spider On The Web has appeared regularly since 2007, and he has been Toastmaster at two World Science Fiction Conventions.
Genre: Science Fiction, Fantasy, Humor
1. Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon
Callahan’s Place is the neighborhood tavern to all of time and space, where the regulars are anything but. Pull up a chair, grab a glass of your favorite, and listen to the stories spun by time travelers, cybernetic aliens, telepaths…and a bunch of regular folks on a mission to save the world, one customer at a time.
2. Time Travellers Strictly Cash
Human or otherwise, regardless of race, creed or dimension of origin, if you’re looking for a good time in a place where the beer is always flowing, and the stories always out of this world, step up to the bar at Callahan’s. There’ll be tales–Oh, are there tales! Like the one about a loud-mouthed time traveler who capitalized on a rip in the space-time continuum; or the one about Ralph the talking, gin-drinking German Shepherd created by a demented genius shrink. But don’t believe us. Ask Ralph. He’ll tell you himself. Also don’t forget to watch out for the deadly toasts–especially the Melba toast! And above all, remember…"Time Travelers Strictly Cash."
3. Callahan’s Secret
Callahan’s Place is open for business, and all of the "regulars" are here–a talking dog, an alcoholic vampire, and two telepaths–enhancing their joys by drowning their sorrows. Everyone, that is, but Mickey Finn, a seven-foot tall alien in danger of enslavement at the hands of a traveller from across the galaxy…
Come inside, pull up a chair, order a drink, make a toast, and let Spider Robinson introduce you to the most unique patrons to frequent any establishment, at a bar where the most important law is "shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased." And if there’s time left at the end of the night, just maybe they’ll save the world…
4. Callahan’s Lady
Welcome to Lady Sally’s, the House that "is" a home — the internationally (hell, interplanetarily) notorious bordello. At Lady Sally’s House, the customer doesn’t necessarily come first: even the staff are genuinely enjoying themselves.
Wife of time traveling bartender Mike Callahan, and employer of some of the most unusual and talented performing artists ever to work in the field of hedonic interface, Her Ladyship has designed her House to be an "equal opportunity enjoyer," discreetly, tastefully and joyfully catering to all erotic tastes and fantasies, however unusual. Like her famous husband, Lady Sally doesn’t even insist that her customers be "human."..as long as they have good manners.
Small wonder, then, that she and her staff encounter beings as unique and memorable as the superhuman Colt, whose banner never, ever flags…Diana, the deadly dominatrix who "cannot" be disobeyed…Tony Donuts, the moronic man-monster even the Mafia doesn’t want to mess with…or Charles, the werewolf with a distinct difference…
5. Lady Slings the Booze
Welcome back to Lady Sally’s…Your pleasure is her business!
It’s the best little you-know-what in the universe. Where adults of all species and persuasions indulge in wild life, liberty, and the pursuit of a really good time. So join in the fun – and don’t worry. You’ll respect yourself in the morning…
6. The Callahan Touch
Opening Night at Mary’s Place is the hottest ticket in the galaxy – a brand-new bar with some old familiar faces. Jake’s back, along with Doc, Fast Eddie, and the rest of the Callahan’s gang. And just when things couldn’t get crazier, guess who shows up in the Nick of Time to make sure they do…
7. Callahan’s Legacy
For years, Callahan’s was the place where friends met to have a few drinks, tell a few jokes, and occasionally save the world. Until that unfortunate incident with the nuke a few years ago….
But Jake Stonebender and his wife have opened a new Callahan’s, Mary’s Place, and all the regulars are there: Doc Webster, Fast Eddie the piano player, Long Drink McGonnigle, and of course the usual talking dogs, alcoholic vampires, aliens, and time travelers. Songs will be sung, drinks will be drunk (and drunks will have drinks), puns will be swapped…and as a three-eyed, three-legged, three-armed, three-everythinged alien flashes through space toward the bar, it just might be time to save the world again…
8. Callahan’s Key
Nobody blends good science with bad puns as brilliantly as Spider Robinson, as his legion of devoted fans will attest. Now he’s back with the latest chapter of the Callahan saga — an improbable tale of impending doom, a road trip, space, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.
The universe is in desperate peril. Due to a cluster of freakish phenomena, the United States’ own defense system has become a perfect doomsday machine, threatening the entire universe. And only one man can save everything-as-we-know-it from annihilation.
Unfortunately, he’s not available.
So the job falls instead to bar owner Jake Stonebender, his wife, Zoey, and superintelligent toddler, Erin.
Not to mention two dozen busloads of ex-hippies and freaks, Robert Heinlein’s wandering cat, a whorehouse parrot, and misunderstood genius-inventor Nikola Tesla, who is in fact alive and well…
9. Callahan’s Con
The discreet little bar that Jake Stonebender established a few blocks below Duval Street was named simply The Place. There, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano; the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested (without blushing), Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita and several sentilde;oritas, and all the other regulars settled into comfortable subtropical niches of their own. Nobody even noticed them save the universe.Over time, the twice-transplanted patrons of Callahan’s Place attracted a collection of local zanies so quintessentially Key West pixilated that they made the New York originals seem, well, almost normal. The elfin little Key deer, for instance–with a stevedore’s mouth; or the merman with eczema; or Robert Heinlein’s teleporting cat.For ten slow, merry years, life was good. The sun shone, the coffee dripped, the breeze blew just strongly enough to dissipate the smell of the puns, and little supergenius Erin grew to the verge of adolescence. Then disaster struck. Through the gate one sunny day came a malevolent, moronic, mastodon of a Mafioso named Tony Donuts Jr., or Little Nuts (don’t ask). He’d decided to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West–and guess which tavern he picked to hit first? Then, thanks to very poor accessorizing (she chose the wrong belt–and no, we’re not going to explain that one), Jake’s wife, Zoey, suddenly found herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air. And no way home. The urgent question was where-precisely where–but that turned out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathic syntony (you can look it up) might not be able to crack it in time.And while all this was going on, Death himself walked into The Place. But this time he would not leave alone…
Off the Wall at Callahan’s
Off the Wall at Callahan’s is a collection of epigrams, maxims, proverbs, observations, eye-watering puns, and original song lyrics distilled from the first five volumes of the Callahan’s Place series (from Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon to Lady Slings the Booze). After the original Callahan’s Place was destroyed, all of these gems were painstakingly deciphered from blown-up old photos of the wall behind the bar, where Callahan let his customers scrawl graffiti in place of the usual mirror. So technically, every word is "off the wall." Further ennobled by numerous interior B&W illustrations by Phil Foglio, there are even capsule bios at the end for every person (real or imaginary) quoted in the graffiti section.
Welcome to Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon… There’s no place like it in this, or any other, universe.
Download Instructions:
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Mirror:
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