Requirements: ePUB Reader | 3.5 MB | Version: Retail
Overview: With the exception of a handful of super-organized people, we human beings are a fucking mess. If you’re Type A and pretty content with your obsessive need to control everything, you’re probably not reading a book on how to get your shit together. This book is for the rest of us lazy assholes who are starting to think that the mess isn’t “fine.”
You can’t be in the “it’s fine” place and tidy up. If you’re in the “it’s fine” place, you’re sitting on the couch, watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and ignoring the fact that you haven’t seen the floor in a few months. No, you have to be so sick of your own bullshit that you can’t stand it anymore.
You have to be ready to make a change, because you’re going to have to roll up your sleeves and do some actual fucking work. Stubborn determination is the real magic. If you’re not completely fed up, you’ll surrender to the mess five minutes into the cleanup and end up back on the couch.
Don’t let anyone bullshit you into thinking you can transform your home and your life overnight. You didn’t create this mess in a day, you’re not going to clean it up in one. Unless you’re a psychopath and have utterly no attachment to the things that you’ve bought. But more than likely, you’re surprisingly attached to crap you don’t even like, and you’re going to need a little help letting go.
Your mess is a combination of stress, envy, emotional baggage, and some high-level susceptibility to marketing. Untangling all that isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Don’t know where to start? Then you’ve come to the right place.
These books are part tidying advice, part foul-mouthed comedy special, and part therapy session. It’s meant to help you create your happy place on your own terms. There is no one-size-fits-all strategy. Take the bits that help, leave the ones that don’t. Read the book all at once, a little at a time as you need it, or both. It’s entirely up to you. (I don’t give a damn whether you actually follow through—it’s not my mess.)
Genre: Non-Fiction | Parody
Tidy the Fuck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Shit
Even you can get your shit together!
Tidy the F*ck Up is a funny, down-to-earth parody of Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, where you’ll be handed the most useful tools for keeping your crap clean and organized without all the pressure.
In this book, you’ll discover useful ways to figure out what to do with your sh*tpiles in an approachable, care-free way, and you’ll say farewell to the hair-pulling stress of marathon cleaning. Tossing all your junk in a closet doesn’t make it any less of a clusterf*ck, but approaching it little by little and making use of some helpful hints can do a world of wonders for all your sh*t, the comfort of your space, and your general sanity. With this hilarious guide, you’ll learn how to:
- —Become a decision-making badass
—Get rid of the shit you don’t need and keep the sh*t you do
—Live life after a clusterfuck!
—And more!
With a light-hearted tone that the finest sailors would admire, Tidy the F*ck Up will help you make your house a f*cking home.
Nobody Wants Your Shit: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die
Free yourself and your family from the f*cking clutter before you croak!
Inspired by The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will light a fire under your untidy ass with humor and helpful organizing tips that you’ll actually want to use.
Like a delightfully foul-mouthed best friend, this book dishes out the funny, unpretentious advice you need to hear most. You’ll discover how to deal with your sh*t like there’s no tomorrow, live in the moment without the f*cking mess, and make your life and your eventual death a hell of a lot easier. With this witty guide, you’ll learn how to:
- —ditch the d*mn indecision
—get your sh*t together and feel fantastic
—give your busy family a f*cking break
—and more!
Whether you’re getting ready to move in, move on, or just move your ass, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will help you take control of your f*cking life.
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