11 Books by Adam Millard
Requirements: Epub|AZW Reader | Retail 667KB, 679KB, 948KB, 668KB, 247KB, 384KB, 448KB, 336KB, 393KB, 261KB, 4.9MB
Overview: Adam Millard is the author of twenty novels, twelve novellas, and more than two hundred short stories, which can be found in various collections and anthologies. Probably best known for his post-apocalyptic fiction, Adam also writes fantasy/horror for children and Bizarro fiction for several publishers. His “Dead” series has recently been the filling in a Stephen King/Bram Stoker sandwich on Amazon’s bestsellers chart. Adam writes for This Is Horror, whose columnists include BC Furtney, Simon Bestwick and Simon Marshall-Jones.
Genre: Horror|Extreme Horror|Comedy|Bizarro Fiction
The Human Santapede:
Santa Claus is coming to town…at least, that was the plan, but now his elves have started going missing, kidnapped by some insidious figure in a black cloak, and despite the magic swirling about the place, the toys aren’t going to put themselves together. So begins a terrifying game of cat and mouse as Kris Kringle searches The Land of Christmas for his abducted minions, unaware that he is to play an integral part in his foe’s plans. Krampus is pissed at Santa after lending him his snowblower and never getting it back. His punishment? To build a Human Santapede long enough to stretch around The Land of Christmas, and at its helm, the jolly fat man himself. Can Santa – aided by his best foreman, Finklefoot – get his elves back, defeat Krampus, and save Christmas before it is too late, or will Krampus succeed in creating the ghastliest single-file organism the North Pole has ever seen? Ho-Ho-Holy Shit, things are about to get messy
Celebrity Hell House:
Peter Kane was famous, once upon a time. An award-winning author (with the certificates to prove it), and yet things aren’t going so great.
When an offer comes in to star in a new reality TV show, he finds it hard to refuse, and so finds himself in the line-up alongside a former Playboy Bunny, R2D2’s stunt-double, a heavyweight boxer with the worst record on, erm, record, an eccentric fashion designer, a handsome reality-show star, and an Olympian swimmer. The goal? Survive Hell House – the location of a brutal triple murder-suicide decades earlier. The prize? £250000.
Sometimes, a quarter of a million just isn’t enough…
Hamsterdamned!:
Amsterdam. The sex and drugs capital of the world. Where weed is legal and smoked alongside coffee in one of the city’s many koffiehuises.
It’s Mike’s stag-do; one final weekend of debauchery before marrying – and along with four of his friends, he intends to paint the town red. Unfortunately, they’re not the only ones eager to paint the town red; six evil hamsters escape the delivery-truck and stumble upon a contaminated batch of space-cake. With the euphoria they experience comes a side-effect none of them could have anticipated. The hamsters start to grow.
Hamsterdamned! is the action-packed and comical tale of gigantic rodents and sex-midgets; of one-legged prostitutes and inept Dutch policemen; of camaraderie and one man’s fight to stay alive so he can marry the woman of his dreams.
Jurassic Car Park:
It’s a normal day in The Fox with Two Dicks. Marla the Stereotypical Barmaid is serving; Trevor McDougal has fallen asleep in his bitter; Sid the Extra isn’t up to much, since he’s not really meant to be in this scene; in the corner sit two likeable gents. John Mackey and Alan Brewster. It’s all very pleasant, if you like that sort of thing. Then, in walk The Barry Boys – the miscreants of the village – with news of a DeLorean in a derelict car-park up on Charlie Chaplin Street. Their plan, to steal the mythical vehicle and joyride the hell out of it.
What could possibly go wrong? Dinosaurs, of course!
Can Alan and John save the day, put the past and the future right once again, stop The Barry Boys from fornicating with Margaret Thatcher back in 1985 – the event which started the dino-apocalypse – and decide which one of them is going to get the girl at the end of the story?
Probably not, but it’ll be fun trying.
Larry 3d:
The theatre is packed, the popcorn is still warm and severely overpriced, and the curtains are about to open for the first time. Horror fans have gathered for the annual FearFest convention, and this year, despite the myriad reboots and remakes, an anxious buzz permeates the theatre.
It is the premiere of Larry 3D (or Larry 3-SQUEEE, thanks to the assholes behind its marketing campaign). Based upon true events (no, seriously!), the film recreates the rise, demise, and reanimation of Larry ‘Pigface’ Travers – a remarkable performance by Willem Dafoe which critics are already calling, “Unhinged!” and, “Truly awful!”.
But when the film starts rolling, the terror becomes all too real. Somehow, Pigface has passed through the dimensions, escaped the movie and landed himself slap-bang in the middle of reality. And now he has a theatre filled with horny teenagers to butcher. Magically pursuing a group of survivors in and out of classic horror films – Psycho, Dawn of the Dead, Suspiria, and an accidental stop-off in Labyrinth (where a battle with Jareth’s crotch almost sends him back to the grave) – Pigface targets his highest body-count to date. Only one man can stop him.
And that man is Willem Dafoe.
Milk:
In a post-apocalyptic world, Lou, a goods trader (batteries, cloth, books, pornographic devices) stumbles upon a new business opportunity when he miraculously begins to lactate. Milk is a rare commodity in a world gone to hell, and so before long everyone in town wants a piece of the action, but there’s something not quite right about the milk – other than the fact it came from a fifty year-old man. The milk is bad, turning everyone that consumes it into radioactive mutants with a penchant for human flesh. Now it’s up to Lou to put things right, before everyone he knows becomes a milk-guzzling cannibal.
Whatever you do, don’t drink Lou’s Milk…
Stuff That:
Ted Barker has been running Barker’s Taxidermy Emporium (We stuff things so you can stare at their dead eyes forever!) for decades. Business is booming, thanks to the busy London roads and the stupidity of cats, but when Don Paparella, a local gangster, arrives at the shop, everything changes. The proprietor is gunned down in cold blood, and with seemingly no witnesses, Don Paparella and his lackeys go on with their plot to run London. But the taxidermy saw it all, and now Buffalo Bill, Vladimir the Unicycling Rat, Jemima/Jessica the two-headed duck, Hooter the racist owl, Gerry the baby giraffe, and Fairfax the posh fox, are out for blood. With the help of a pair of 1980s buddy-cops, Ricks and Murtow, the taxidermy will stop at nothing to avenge their creator.
Dead animals never pelt so good…
The Bad Game:
YOU DON’T PLAY IT… IT PLAYS YOU.
Hemsby is thriving; a seaside town on the up. The holidaymakers are flooding in, and so is the money. For the majority of those who live there, the resort is idyllic.
But not for Jamie Garrett. Fifteen years old and bored to tears, Hemsby is the last place he wants to be. Aside from the occasional sea rescue, nothing exciting ever happens.
That’s about to change as a mysterious new game arrives at the beach-front arcade. No one knows of its origin, or the rules of the game, but soon it is the talk of the resort, attracting children far and wide with its complex gameplay and surreal graphics.
When the children of the resort become the perpetrators of uncharacteristic and brutal violence, Jamie realises that it is a side-effect of the game, and sets out to pull the plug on the machine before it is too late.
Dare you play THE BAD GAME?
Vinyl Destination:
The town of Bellbrook is digging a new landfill, and they’ve conceived a brilliant plan for containing the toxins within: lining the hole with old LPs no one listens to anymore.
What they don’t know, what they couldn’t have known, is that their excavation has awakened an ancient evil. An ancient evil with a song now stuck in its head.
This is the story of the day the music un-died.
Zoonami:
Roger Whipsnade loves his job at Bingham Zoo. He loves the animals—but not the penguins, which seem to have it in for him—and he loves his colleague, Brandi Tromans, even if she doesn’t know about it. Life isn’t too shabby for Roger, but that’s all about to change.
It’s Carnival Week in Cromer, which means all-you-can-play bingo for the geriatrics, beauty pageants for the physically-challenged, and a special guest appearance by Dame Judi Dench. Not everything goes to plan, however, when a huge tidal wave sweeps in from the North Sea, and it becomes increasingly clear that the coast is not the best place to house some of nature’s most terrifying creatures… and a few otters.
Soon, Cromer is under attack by wave after wave of ferocious animals, and it’s up to Roger, Brandi, Dame Judi Dench (just Dench to her mates) and a couple of drunken sailors to save the day.
First came the Sharknado, then came the Mansquito…
It’s time for the whole damn menagerie!
Swimming in the Sea of Trees:
A year after the death of their son, Dan and Kelly are visiting Aokigahara, the infamous Japanese forest. Dan knows of its past as the place where souls come to die, to commit suicide, either through hopelessness, debt, or love. Kelly does not, but all that changes when the forest’s ghosts begin to reveal themselves.
Aokigahara knows what they fear, and will stop at nothing to claim two more souls.
Download Instructions:
The Human Santapede:
http://festyy.com/wXND8r
http://festyy.com/wXND8o
Celebrity Hell House:
http://festyy.com/wXND8l
http://festyy.com/wXND8b
Hamsterdamned!:
http://festyy.com/wXND8I
http://festyy.com/wXND8D
Jurassic Car Park:
http://festyy.com/wXND8K
http://festyy.com/wXND8V
Larry 3d:
http://festyy.com/wXND82
http://festyy.com/wXND87
Milk:
http://festyy.com/wXND9w
http://festyy.com/wXND9j
Stuff That:
http://festyy.com/wXND9c
http://festyy.com/wXND9A
The Bad Game:
http://festyy.com/wXND9X
http://festyy.com/wXNF0t
Vinyl Destination:
http://festyy.com/wXNF0p
http://festyy.com/wXNF0g
Zoonami:
http://festyy.com/wXNF0z
http://festyy.com/wXNF0R
Swimming in the Sea of Trees:
http://festyy.com/wXNF0O
http://festyy.com/wXNF0F
All Books:
http://festyy.com/wXNF0L
http://festyy.com/wXNF08
